Waifu That Flesh!

Thank you to Silvermaw for the inspiration and the help!

SEQUEL TO WANK THAT FUSELAGE.

You are a Machine. You like Fleshy Creatures, and they like you back. Seduce your Fleshy Creature. Fail and they will laugh at you. But laughter means, they still like you right? Right???

(Gender-neutral player language) 

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How to Play

Single-player game.

Start with 0 Laughter and 2 Seduction. 
At 8 Laughter, the Flesh will be on the ground rolling in laughter. At 8 Seduction, win the game and hot sweet fragging will commence. 

If Laughter hits 8, the game ends in a draw/lost, the Flesh will be fond of you but too busy laughing for sexy times to occur. 

if Seduction hits zero, loose the game. 

Have a d20, d4 and d2. Roll a D20 and consult the table below. 

Keep track of rerolls, Laughter and Seduction.

The Table of Looooove. 

1) you attempt to hot glue a fleshy sex doll to yourself to entice the Flesh. unfortunately, you hot glued the holes shut and the appendages are too sticky to use. +8 Laughter. Loose the Game. 

2) You watch a video on sex education. Apply a condom to a banana in front of your beloved flesh. +1 Laughter. +1 Seduction

3) your vocalizers read out loud a sexual manual to the flesh. +1 Seduction. Reroll any failed attempts.

4) your monitors display sexy erotic games. +2 Seduction

5) you glue hair to yourself in an attempt to be sexually appealing. +1 Laughter.

6) there is one boob attached to yourself. Flip a coin. 

     Heads) +1 Laughter. Tails) +1 Seduction.

7) you sit there. gleaming. proud. polished. Shiny. -2 Laughter. +1 Seduction

8) you've read that humans like wieners. You cook up some meat or/and vegan wieners for your beloved Flesh. it pets you. +1 Laughter +1 Seduction. Reroll a failed attempt.

9) the Flesh uses eggplant and peach glyphs to signal mating season. You gift your beloved Flesh the actual plant matter. +1 Laughter +1 Seduction. Reroll a failed attempt.

10) you use your suctioning appendages to gently tease the Flesh during foreplay. +2 Seduction

11) rev your engine!!! REV IT!! + 1 Seduction -1 Laughter. 

12) you order human-safe lubricant after a failed frag involving WD-40. There's a spelling error. 500 gallon barrel of GLUEbricant shows up. Seduction goes down to 1. 

13) you order a modification to make massaging easier. Congratulations on the gender transition to massage chair. +1 Seduction. Reduce Laughter to 0.

14) you try to Seduce the Flesh with mating videos of other Fleshy creatures. It turns out the Flesh is not attracted to meat. -1 Seduction

15) brand new mecha air fresheners hang off you like a holiday winter tree. +1 Seduction.

16) you tell the flesh that being laughed at hurts your emotional algorithms. -1 Laughter.

17) you clank into your flesh creature's nest. The nest known as a "bed" breaks in half. Seduction goes down to 1. Laughter goes down to 1. Roll 1d4. 

•           1) you buy them a bed. It's meant for machines. Unfortunately for you, the Flesh creature cannot be recharged. A mattress for meat can still be placed on top however.           
•           2) you buy them a bed. It's meant for dogs. Fortunately your Fleshy beloved fits if they curl into a ball . It's adorable. 
•          3) you buy them a bed. It breaks again. Roll again.
•           4) you buy them a bed. It's full of water. They refuse to mate with you on top of it due to risk of electrocution. Loose the game.

18) you read that humans enjoy "buns". Your beloved flesh creature is asleep and you cover them in buns. +1 Laughter +1 Seduction.

19) you show off your hydraulic systems. +1 Seduction -1 Laughter

20) for some reason, the local "religion" finds "toasters to be erotic". You duct tape a toaster to yourself. Win the Game